Fools for Bill

There's a Jimmy Buffet song that says "We are the people our parents warned us about"
And although I have not grown into a gun-toting gang member with a love of pick-pocketing, I kind of get what he means.

Because today I was "one of those people" in my Shakespeare class.

We were talking about good old Billy Shakespeare and how wonderful and bald he is and everyone was having a merry old time. Then we started talking about how he's used to sell everything from tea to action figures to really ugly "Shakespeare Coffee Tables" in SkyMall. And everyone in class was saying how silly it was that people would give into that kind of thing. And I felt so intellectual and smart and I thought about how I could probably get my hands on a copy of that SkyMall if I played my cards right after class...

Then I realized:

I spent a whole day being a happy victim of these marketing ploys. YES! It's true. And it wasn't very long ago. It was last weekend when Maisy, Michelle, Rachel and I went to Manchester.
We arrived with all these grand plans of the amazing cultural experiences we would have, the things we would see, the accents we would hear and THEN we saw this:

"What's that?" you say? That is "The Shakespeare Pub". It's on Pheonix Street in Manchester and OBVIOUSLY it's totally legit because it has a picture of Shakespeare on it. An actual picture! It looks just like him! Don't believe me? Here it is:

You see?! Anyone could be bamboozled by this pub! It even has years under the picture. Years! I don't know what they mean, but whenever I see numbers on an establishment, I'm impressed.

Why am I telling you this? Because we went into that pub. We went in and we stayed there and we watched the footie game that Manchester United was playing and we loved it. We felt so British while we cheered and listened to British people cheer while sitting in The Shakespeare Pub on Pheonix Street.

And I didn't realize how ridiculous we were until this morning in my Shakespeare class. When it hit me like a dagger in poor Yorick's skull.

But...we really did like that pub. Ignorance is bliss! And I love me some bliss.

Wales!

Yesterday we went to WALES!
It was SO much more exciting than I thought it would be. Whenever someone says "Wales" I always think to myself "Poor Wales. They really have nothing going for them. They're just lost in this sea of awesome European countries". And whenever I would mention Wales, or that Chester is very close to Wales, people would say "Oh Wales, it's so pretty". Which just furthered my opinion that it is lame. It's like talking about a really dumb person. "Oh Paris, she's....pretty."
So when I went to Wales I was shocked. Shocked I tell you! Absolutely shocked. Because it is GORGEOUS! Everything looks like it came straight out of a fairy tale. It's hard to believe that it's real because it is just so incredibly perfect. Look at this:

Now, I don't know about you, but generally, when I park in a parking lot it's not surrounded by a CASTLE WALL. Not impressed? Okay, how about this:

Um yeah. That's a castle. I got to play in that castle. Maisey and I climbed up the dungeon wall of that castle. And we got scolded by some Irish looking scoundrels for it. And I thought about climbing to the top of the tower and declaring war on them. Yes, I really got into this castle thing.
Is that not enough for you? Still not impressed? Take THAT!

 I mean, clearly I stole two of those from the North Wales website but that's only because my camera died. And that house is the exact one we saw. Wales really is beautiful.
And THIS time Rick Steves didn't let me down. Now, I don't have an obsession with him or anything, but my mom and I do happen to enjoy his travel videos, so when I saw a plaque on the door of the restaurant our tour recommended that said Rick Steves also approves of it...I was excited.
Best fish and chips ever. In the world. At Fishermans in Conwy, Wales. Try it.

In about 8 hours we went to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, (no that's not a typeo),Llandudno,Conwy Castle, Snowdonia National Park, Betws-Y-Coed, and the Pontcysyllte Aqueduct. All thanks to our awesome tour guide Peter from BusyBus.

 

Peter means business. And strongly believes that he looks like Mel Gibson.

 

Shock and Confusion. And Potatoes.

I am in ENGLAND!!
I live here now. It's awesome. I love it. And no, they don't drink tea on the daily. I moved here two weeks and one day ago and although it's better than I ever imagined, there are some things that not even Rick Steves could have prepared me for. That's right. The dweeb travel god left a LOT out.

Oh Rick, what has become of you?

For example, while he pranced around London, searching for the Queen and such, he never mentioned that there are no water fountains in this country. Not once! Or that their paper towels are BLUE! Why?! Why Steve? Perhaps he feels that bathroom facilities are not important enough to discuss in his high quality programs. Fine, I'll give him that. But he could have at least warned me that Diet Coke here actually has calories. What if I was diabetic? These things are important.

Even the vacuums are different!

Obviously, I have been experiencing a lot of culture shock. Everything here is just different enough from America to make it very confusing. I could go on but I won't because I just don't have that long of an attention span. And neither do you, I'm sure. BUT I will tell you one story.

Perhaps my favorite example of culture shock so far is this:
Two boys (men, guys, bros, I don't know. Males.) rang our doorbell around 11:30.
My dear roommate Jessica answered the door.
One asked "Can we take a wee?"
To which Jessica responded "I don't think anyone here has one"

Apparently, "take a wee" means "use the restroom", but dear Jessica thought that these boys wanted to take away a wii. And she's so kind that she didn't question it. She didn't think about their motives, or whether they would bring the wii back or how they knew that we had a wii. She was just concerned that we had no wii to offer. Bless her heart.

This is the love of my life. Aka my roommate Jessica.

Maisey and I using the American Face at the bus station.

In order to cope with this, I pull the American Face. This is a combo of confusion, apology and (I hope) a certain kind of charm. With this face I have accomplished many things. I use it daily in the dining hall when I stare at the many potato concoctions that the Brits have come up with and wonder "what is this disgusting mess?"And use it when I get lost. Which, coincidentally, is also a daily occurrence.

KateSpeare Goes to England

I moved to England on September 20, 2011. It was a